Parallel

This scene from Sliding Doors sums up my yesterday:



I swear that I was only trying to do what was right.

Let's rewind back.

I started going to therapy again.

After about the first hour or two after session, I felt good.

I got a lot off of my chest.

I spent a good deal of the week dealing with work.

I focused on making sure that everyone there was well taken care of.

I came home at night exhausted and just ready to sleep.

By the time Friday rolled around, I had given up on doing anything "fun".

I had a brief encounter with a friend, she needed help.

Out of nowhere, she asked for an explanation for an email issue.

I obliged, thinking this would only take moments.

And then, right then and there, a "sliding door" moment happened.

It was unbelievable.

You would think I'd timed it on purpose.

I felt trapped in the universe.

Although they gave me the clear signs that I wanted, I felt... bad.

I wanted to know what to do.

I wanted to just fix everything.

There was an obvious miscommunication.

And just like that... the moment, the explanation, everything... was gone.

I cannot express how much I wanted to crawl up in a tiny ball.

How much I just wanted to escape, acting like nothing ever happened.

Well, because it didn't.

And then, just like that (again), things started slipping away from me.

I regressed back into my mental work state.

I blocked it all out.

There was nothing for me to do, but wait.