I've been fighting with this individual over the past 4 years now.
The person decided long ago to throw me away and kick me to the bricks. I haven't said much.
I think the thing that irritates me the most is that I tried to love this person, dearly. I sat, listened, even researched their cause, all in an attempt to get to know the person.
And I think I realized, just now, that the person didn't know that I changed.
The main reason why I say this "person" is no longer willing to cooperate or communicate with me is because the individual has given up on me and everything around me.
I sacrificed up my home, life, and well-being all for the cause of being more "myself". I guess you lose people in that battle.
Maybe people want you to become a part of an automaton community. They want to see you blend into the blahness of their surroundings.
And as soon as you say two words to anyone, they blow up at you. They make you feel like sh*t only because they themselves feel like sh*t.
So what do I do? I try to love them. Care for them. Understand them. Only to have these same people smack me in the face with nothing but disdain.
I should hate people. I should hate the way they treat me, the things that they say to me. I should want to tear them in two, and just laugh at their mangled mess. Their lives torn asunder.
But I don't. I sit. I wait. I PRAY for some sort of recognition that will tell me that my hope is not in vain.
Maybe one day this person will straighten up. Maybe this person will stop being so picky. Maybe one day, this person will grow up.
1 comment:
The trick is to learn how to be kind and loving because it is the right thing to do, not because you hope it will work a change in other people. If that happens, it is a bonus, but shouldn't be the focus. Easier said than done, obviously.
Post a Comment