I spent some time this evening thinking over things.
I have a lot of projects in the fire, most are in danger of being in some sort of dismay.
I'm trying my best to keep things together - happy - if you will.
I drove to work today exhausted. I had spent the whole night thinking over things: The Center, my freelance work, my job.
I had been working on restoring my relationship back to its full vigor. I took time out through numerous counseling sessions to find myself - to look deeper into the abyss that is "me".
I think if it weren't for the glimmer of things: Pachi's grunts, the little "hello" from newfound friends, the occasional Rice Dream Bites - I would have long ago succumbed to the fate that befalls many of us with depression.
As long as I've had a pet, the best thing for me to do is to distract myself with their love, care, and dedication. Even my rabbit, Pachi, has done so much to improve my self-esteem. He loves me, purely because I spend time with him.
Pachi's affection is pristine... and I use it as my Geiger-counter for fake or less than authentic flailing interactions with the "human" community. I can see when a person is just trying to pretend to like me, just for the reason to get what they want. It's easier to detect when I need to make a crucial move based off logic and avoid fictitious scenarios of friendship.
Each one of my buns has taught me so much about life: Snuggles - to laugh even when I'm crying; OodaBu - that 'tude is sometimes necessary; and finally, Pachi - to take time out to love the ones that love you back.
And now... I've learned to take my time, because it's a good thing.
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