Rushed

Today, I was in pain. I was laid out on the bed, tired as I dragged myself to the couch, and exhausted as I flipped through endless channels to find the perfect relaxation film/TV show.

Sometime around 6pm, I decided it was a good time to go do some *small* chores which involved picking up some TP and visiting the customer service desk at the local grocery store. I should have known that simple and small are not my life's forte.

True - going to the grocery store is a normal task that any American can and will probably do on a regular basis. However, the *fun* ensued when I could not find my traveling partner who had left the customer service desk to get a head start on the shopping.

I walked back and forth through the length of the store three times - only to find her at the checkout counter... which is right in the vicinity of the customer service desk.

Add to all this the fact that I was already much in pain and only borrowing pain-free time from the medicine I took. Did I mention that it was snowing and the ground was covered with a nice mixture of snow/salt/slush melt?

As I approached her, I dropped my frustration (I hate being lost or not finding someone) to find out that the purchases would probably be better made by me. Note that I didn't really have enough money to pay for all of this... but I was going to be reimbursed, so I didn't give it a second thought. I concluded that this would be my hardest task of the day. I was proven wrong within seconds.

I began checking out, getting a little extra dough to do some laundry later. I was thinking that maybe I could use my free day on Tuesday to just catch up on some work. Well, I thought "Wait, this is finals week!" That's right... finals week. What does that mean? If you're a student, that means that you have NO regular schedule anymore. Finals are scheduled according to some cryptic system and what you thought was a simple schedule that you fought hard to memorize, becomes obsolete thanks to the new system/style of "Hey, this is when we're going to schedule your final... no, it's not during classtime." This is mostly done because finals are 2 hours long. I think they should be the entire length of class... at least you'll not have to figure out where you're going. But I digress.

I went to the customer service desk to get change - another *easy* task, and then began to discover that what I *thought* was just a simple conversation about laundry turned into an "oh sh*t" moment. Basically, that meant that I needed to rethink some things. Now.

Laundry got moved from Tuesday to Monday to TONIGHT. Then booking an airline. Looking for more change at last minute because some dumb f*ck opened the dryer and let the time run out. Then figuring out that - OMG - I have to find a place to board my rabbit since no airline really wants to risk having such an innocent fluffy bunny on their insurance policy. Oh, and I almost forgot... calling the cell phone company to plead for a push on my bill to this Friday (thank goodness, they did).

All-in-all, I feel like I just pushed myself, rushed everything, and ended up putting my body through a blender. Not to mention that I need to also get time for my body to heal from all the sh*t I put it through last week. Oh, and my weekend is almost gone... I'm working on Saturday.

I don't regret the reasons why I did things... just the way that they were done. I feel like there's got to be a better way for me to get certain things done/accomplished. I feel like if someone says "oops, I forgot", then good ol' me has to come back in and fix everything (Yessuh, massa... I'ze got cho reeport rite heer, suh).

I cried. I cried for about an hour, total. I cried at first because I felt so sh*tty about everything and that I didn't really have the energy to pick up my legs after the first half hour. I cried again because I could do nothing but yell (this was after a sudden trip I had to make to campus because I forgot to print out my timesheet and it was either do it now or get up at 7am and try to do it then). I cried a third time because I have let myself and my bunny down because now I'm going to have to board him on OUR FIRST CHRISTMAS TOGETHER instead of just driving him down there to Texas like I should have done in the first damn place.

I felt like a lump of nothing. And I rushed myself... I rushed into everything thinking that if I just did it faster, that everything would be done sooner. And it was.