Proof

One of my most favorite movies:



Although I'm not quite the mathematician they are, I appreciate the theories.

I did, however, try to be a great mathematician.

Funny thing is, mathematicians aren't really all that good with math... well, calculations.

We're mostly good with formulas... proofs.

Trying to determine that in the world of worlds, if one theorem comes up with a certainty of answers.

And yeah, like Gwyneth's character, I got thrown off a lot, too, during Differential Equations.

I stopped being a mathematician because, well, after failing at being a computer programmer, I figured failing at another logic-based major wasn't going to do me any good, emotionally.

But here I am, thinking of theories, again.

Remembering how I actually calculated the amount of fuel ratio needed to power a rocket.

Being fascinated with the combination of liquid hydrogen to liquid oxygen.

I actually had photos, drawings, and everything rocket-related posted up on my wall.

Sort of as a reminder... memoriaum... to what I wanted to be and what fascinated me.

And now, funny, that my walls are fairly blank... maybe that's why I keep forgetting who I am.

I walked into other people's rooms...

... and would see, as a kid, that they had nothing on their walls that resembled what I had.

I hung up posters of the moon, drew rocket ships regularly, and even painted a mural later on.

I guess I was always destined to be some kind of mathematician-scientist-artist combination.

I often wondered what "god" wanted out of me.

I never found anyone quite like me.

You know, someone who drew and constructed houses on the side.

That did sculptures "just for fun".

I think that's why I try to encourage people to be who they are.

I was always trying to be "molded" into something.

And the thing is, I never quite fit... anywhere.

And now, at the tender age of 35 years, I know why...

... they just didn't want me to have a hard life.

That's understandable now.

But I still don't quite fit.