Love

Love sucks ass:



Thanks, Adam Levine.

This is what happened...

... in what I'm going to dub my "30 minutes or less" typing phase.

Let's just say that I've got too many "women" in my life.

The only male I really interact with has four legs and fur... and is a rabbit.

So, I've got all this estrogen flowing around me and I'm really at wits end.

My mind has split into multiple personalities... Machismo, Shän, some thug, and probably someone else I'm forgetting.

I get maybe one good hour of sleep per night.

Why?

Women.

I like them... no, I love them.

I'm attracted to them... well, their pheromones.

I want to share my life with them, but they are literally tearing me apart.

I'm trying to understand them... their neediness... their want for connection.

And what do I get from all of that?

Frustration.

They're "confused" and don't know "what to do" about their feelings.

Blah, blah, blah... they know.

What they don't want to do is TELL you how they're feeling.

They don't want to feel bad.

Them... not you... THEM.

So, what do I do?

What can I say to them?

Nothing.

I have to avoid them like the frickin' plague.

Okay, okay... so, I don't think EVERY woman is this way.

But goodness knows that I attract them:

... the weirdo...

... the freakish...

... the "I have problems but I'm not going to face them; instead, I'm going to pretend that YOU are the problem and tell YOU to leave ME alone" ones.

What.

The.

HELL???

This is what I want to say to them:

"You...

... you are... a CRAZY b*tch.

What makes YOU think that YOU'RE not crazy, huh?

Let's see... maybe your lack of friends make you think you're too good?

Maybe it's that f*cking makeup you put on your face that makes you feel like the sh*t?

Maybe it's all the f*cking times that you've called me and told me your problems and ignored me when I wanted to tell you MINE?!

(*breathing*)

So.

What makes you so f*cking special?

I want to put you...

... no, THROW you...

... into a looney bin.

I'm going to lock you away with the pieces of my f*cked-up broken heart.

Take that, b*tch."

Love sucks ass.