Never stops.

One thought leads to another, that leads to another.

These thoughts make me feel like crap.

That is what depression is to me.

I get up in the morning, try to focus.

I think about good things, I try to concentrate on the grateful things in my life.

Then depression hits... it could be a combination of things.

I'm tired, the car won't start, it's cold outside, and the help I ask for doesn't understand what I need.

So what do I do?

(I say) That's okay, I'm just tired... I can handle it.

(I say) That's okay, the car is just having a bad moment... I can handle it.

(I say) That's okay, it's just cold outside, and the car won't start, and I'm tired... I can try to handle it by calming down.

(I say) That's okay... I'm just tired, and I need to figure out what to do now, and it's cold out, so I need to handle that... okay... I'm tired, I am having trouble thinking... I can handle it... it's okay.

(I say) I'm tired... I can figure out what to do with the car... okay... it's cold... I'm having trouble thinking... okay... I need to get out the car and go in the store... okay... I can ask for help.

(I say) I'm tired. I can handle this. I can do this. I am tired.

(I say) Okay, I'll just need to get the car started and things can be okay. Let me focus on that. Okay... let me maintenance the car... while I wait for it to possibly charge... so that I can go home and get warm. I can deal with it a while longer.

(I say) Okay, I have to find something to do while I wait for the car. Okay. I can handle this.

(I say) Okay, I can figure out what to do with the car in the meanwhile. I'll try again.

(I say) Okay, the car started. Good. Okay. Now I have to drive the car on the highway. I'm tired. I'm having trouble thinking. I can handle this.

(I say) Okay, where should I go? How long should I drive? I'm tired. I can handle this.

(I say) Okay, what should I do to prevent this from happening again? I'm so tired. I can drive. I'll just zone out.

That was about one hour of steady thinking.

I still have yet to stop.

That's why I'm writing now.

To stop.

Now.